This is me trying to handle life.
Five ways to win your heart.
Romance is a difficult subject for me because generally I’m bad at it. I don’t know how to do it, and part of that comes from the fact that I keep myself very detached from the world around me. It’s difficult to make meaningful relationships because I want to be independent all the time. It’s difficult to think of someone being there to carry some of my burden when I clearly just want to drag all of it through the mud myself.
For this challenge I could take the easy way out and joke about it. “Be Josh Groban! That’s how you win my heart!” But then I’m cheating myself. I’m not reflecting on who I am and what I want from a soulmate. So…here I go. I’m going to be completely honest about how any man could win my heart.
1.) My ideal man loves God.
This is number one. My pastor said once that when he married his wife the only three things they had in common were, “Mexican food, the color blue, and their love for God.” When it comes to love, I look towards the greatest love story ever written, and at the moment, I’m re-learning what it means to love and be loved. However, I struggle with my faith, with life, and with a plethora of other things on a daily basis. I’m a huge worrier, and even though I want to be a leader all the time, I know I can’t be. If a man loves God with all his heart, I know that he can be a leader for me when times are rough. And I hope I can provide him with the same support.
2.) Cursing is a no-no.
I really hate cursing, but I can tolerate it. People are free to speak however they wish, but I for one do not want to curse, and I certainly don’t want someone I live with to curse. People say that sometimes there is no other way to express (insert extreme emotion here) than with a curse word. But language is a beautiful thing. I promise you that there are thousands of ways to express your frustration, sadness, or excitement without lumping it all together under the f-bomb. I’ve realized that I can find a guy unbelievably attractive, but the moment he curses, the veil is broken. It’s a little unfortunate.
3.) He should understand my lack of skill (Who am I kidding? It’s called awkwardness!) in romance.
Like I said, I’m bad at romance. I’m not good at expressing myself through physical means. I’m the type of person who likes to leave a little note about how much I appreciate someone instead of hugging that person from behind. I’ll go off on my own when I’m feeling sad, so no one will see me cry because honestly, people would make me feel worse. I don’t want someone to constantly dote over me. I want a chance to be independent. I suppose it’s a lot to ask for someone to be able to tell when I do or don’t want attention. (But I’m kind of like a cat and people tolerate them.) I suppose that’s something you figure out after you get to know someone. Patience. Patience is a good word for this situation.
4.) He needs to be creative.
In everything. I love a creative mind that’s constantly thinking of new ways to approach a relationship. Why go to the movies when you can spend the evening cooking dinner together? Why not go on a spontaneous car ride instead of sitting in a stuffy café somewhere? Build a pillow fort, go give meals to the homeless, have a video game tournament… I love surprises. (I also hate surprises, but that’s because I’m complicated.)
5.) I want him to look for more than just intimacy from me.
I’m a little traditional. I want my relationship to be meaningful. I want someone who enters a relationship thinking, “This could be the one” instead of, “I hope I get lucky tonight or next week or in a few months.” I want someone to look forward to more than just the first kiss or the first “time.” I want them to look at me and think, “I want to know every inch of her mind and heart.” I don’t care if they think I’m beautiful. Trust me, if they stick around, they’ll see me in the morning with drool dried on my face and my hair crazier than Gene Wilder’s . That’s. Not. Pretty. They’ll watch that semi-human creature dragging itself to the kitchen for coffee and think, “Gosh. She’s a dork, but she’s my dork.” And then I hope they help me make coffee because I’m useless unless I have a little caffeine in my system.
6.) As a bonus, if you can be Josh Groban…or are Josh Groban, that would be wonderful.
(It had to be done.)