Here I am getting to places with Day 2. (Day 1 is HERE if you’re interested.) I’m surprised I’ve made it this far, but I underestimated how much these prompts would make me think.
Write something that someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget.
I’m sitting in front of my computer screen, staring at those words, trying to think of anything.
I’m sure people have told me all sorts of things about myself ranging from the good to the bad to the obvious. The other day one of my friends told me, “Wow. You’re sunburned.” As if my singed flesh needed a reminder! I haven’t forgotten that yet. I’ve had people tell me I’m talented or fortunate. I’ve had bullies tell me I’m fat or ugly. But none of these moments are particularly memorable. I’ve either forgotten them or moved on. Except for the sunburn. I’m still living the sunburn right now.
But the more I think about it, I’m drawn to my first relationship. Well…”relationship.” I was in high school. We met in Robotics Club, went to the movies once, and then I asked him to prom after we broke up because I didn’t want to go alone. It wasn’t exactly a story book romance. Actually there wasn’t really any romance involved. We held hands once or twice. I blushed, maybe giggled. He was the first guy to ever find me mildly interesting or pretty. I had spent my life wishing day and night for some boy somewhere to think I’m special. And then it happened. I had a boyfriend.
I remember one time he went shopping with me as I prepared for a trip to Washington D.C. My mom wanted to see how he would live up to her expectations, and my little brother was grateful to have someone to take him to GameStop. Before we separated though, he watched me trying on candidates for a new pair of heels. I would walk around in a pair, determine the comfort level, and move on to another pair to see how they compared. He watched as if I were comparing the color of soil samples. And then he said it.
“Wow, you have ugly feet.”
Now, I’m aware I have big feet. I have my father’s feet, and my family likes to talk about it, so I’ve heard it all. “You have fingers for toes.” Or “I bet you never have to rent skis.” I’ve even been compared to Godzilla a few times, but that one was new. I know he wasn’t trying to be mean. It was a nervous, off-hand comment that slipped from his mouth. I laughed a little too loudly and ushered him off to babysit my kid brother.
But I was just as nervous. I was just as unsure. And I was beyond shocked that I didn’t say, “You too!” and limp away in my stilettos, snorting with laughter to try and fix my faux pas. I didn’t realize how young I was until that moment. I was a kid, literally trying to wear my big girl shoes and failing miserably. Did I need to jump into a relationship just because I was excited about attention?
Well, clearly I found my answer. We didn’t last long, and now we’ve both gone our separate ways. I couldn’t tell you what he’s doing now, but I do know that I’m looking forward and not looking back. As for my feet, I like to think that they fit in my stilettos a little better now.